Tired Of Fake Pizza Shops...Oh Boy!

[chickenparm]

Another NEW Pizza place opened in our town.I had to try it,I always try the new places.

I knew the minute I walked in,it was NOT going to be good.Im seeing bottles of Kraft parmesan cheese on the shelf.
 

Anyways,nice folks running the place,very friendly,great atmosphere,etc.but my gawd,its no better than a frozen Tombstone.
 
Sauce was a dark red meaty looking color.Crust was already pre-made on a metal tray they took out of the freezer.I did not see a mixer so im assuming they buy them premade already.

Cheese tasted like part skim milk mozz Kraft...even burned like it does on frozen pizza.

Crust came out white on the bottom,no oven spring at all,no rim rise or anything.Flat and nasty.I took pics for my viewing pleasure but cannot upload them right now.

The best part was they advertised BRICK OVEN PIZZA
 

They had an gas oven with bricks they lay down on the bottom of the stove and cooked the pizza ontop of the bricks using a screen or some kind of pan.I guess just laying bricks down makes it a Brick oven?
 

We are out 15 bucks for this disaster.I did not complain since I did not want to embarass my wife.
Even she said,"never again."

 

Ps,sorry just had to rant a little bit.

[Jackie Tran]

I guess I've been making brick oven pizza for a year now. 

Well at least you know how and why your pizza is better.   You can always learn something even from a bad experience.  You learn exactly what not to do.   

Before I made my own pizzas, if I went long enough without eating pizza, even a mediocre take out pizza tasted pretty good.   

[chickenparm]

Ya know,
I still have a long ways to go,but my gawd,I could put out bad pizzas like that all day long.Its amazing people can open a Business and pass this along as something edible.

The best thing about coming here online though,getting to know you folks,sharing info,recipes or etc,Im learning more and more what makes good pizza,not just because Im biased a bit being from NY and eating some of the best styles there.
 

I was really hoping this time around,someone was gonna surprise me in this town and make something decent where I can go and eat from time to time.Looks like Im going to keep doing what im doing at home and learn the best from you guys.
 

-Bill

[Jet_deck]

....Crust came out white on the bottom,no oven spring at all,no rim rise or anything.Flat and nasty.

chickenparm, I feel your pain.  Recently we met a group of friends at a restaurant that offered pizza.  As usual, the kids took the bait.  I watched as the guy grabs a food service dough ball from the fridge.  He puts it through a sheeter, and places the skin on a flat black pan.  He tops the skin with what taste like sugar ketchup and I'm sure, more food service toppings.  Black pan gets a quick ride through a conveyor oven, and then served.  It was pleasantly edible, and the kids didn't complain, since we were giving them quarters for the video games. Such is life, I guess.

[Mick.Chicago]

I won't name names and because it's a good restaurant, I'm even more disappointed by what I'm about to tell you.

I'll set the scene, they do good small plate Italian food, very well, very good wine but for some reason I'd never had the pizza (or seen it on the menu) or had the pasta. I was always in to the Tuscan sausage and the Risotto was good.

The last time I went we had our 18 Month old with us. She refuses to eat store bought pasta so I thought I'd see what it was like here, it came, it looked like it was 100% semolina and maybe made in house, on closer inspection, it was too thick, maybe even thicker than the third setting on a standard machine and the Pasta Critic that is my 18 Month Old dragged it out of her mouth quicker than she puts my pasta in.

While this was going on I'd ordered, too my surprise, off of the very small pizza menu, hidden in their very large menu.

"NEAPOLITAN PIZZA" San Marzano Tomatoes, they exclaimed! So I'm waiting for this pizza, hoping to see some kind of workings in the kitchen...nothing...stood up to go to the bathroom and I swear they must have hidden the WFO, or maybe it was taking a break out back.

10 or 15 minutes later out came a wreck of a pizza, it looked more like a cracker crust pizza than even trying to have a puffy cornicione and it wasn't even loaded with toppings to the edge.

Its a good job they do good food other than the Italian staples of Pasta and Pizza but I don't think I'll be going back any time soon.  Not unless they answer my email sufficiently 

[chickenparm]

Mick,you went to Olive Garden?
 

[Mick.Chicago]

Mick,you went to Olive Garden?
 

ahaha, I nearly did a spit take! There was almost Greek salad on my keyboard!

I've never set foot in an Olive Garden and I've been in Chicago for a few years now! 

My wife wont let me, apparently its that bad??

The only chain restaurants I've ever been to are Red Robin and Chili's!

Oh and taco bell to change a diaper! (Not mine)

[chickenparm]

 
Mick,glad to see you have a good sense of humor there!
 

Would you believe,where I live in KY,the Olive garden is always so packed with customers?
 
I could never get it.Then again,its the closest thing to Italian like Fazoli's is to Pizza for the masses around here.

I despise chain foods and fake Italian style Pizza places.I have eaten at many before,regrettably,only because of the others in the family wanting to go,say for the kids or relatives,etc.Always willing to try a new place ONCE.But that's it!
 

[chickenparm]

Well,its been about 4 months and that Fake Pizza place I posted about is just about closed now.Not 100% out of business yet,but everyday I drive by the lights are off.Its a sure sign its not going to be open much longer.There is never any cars there nor customers.I expect to see the signs come down within a week or so.

I guess that is what happens when you cannot make pizza any better than the local chains.I sort of feel bad for them,even though I laughed about it all a while back.I don't wish anyone bad business,but if you cut corners and try to pass off terrible pizzas using slogans like "gourmet crust" and "brick fired ovens" as a sales trick,you deserve what you have coming to you in the end if you cannot deliver.

[Ev]

Maybe now would be a good time for you to make an offer on the place and show them how it's done!

[Jose L. Piedra]

What also sucks is when a place starts off real, and then degenerates and turns fake over the years. Last fall, after more than twenty years I revisited this one place whose pizzas I grew up eating, and which helped form my most deeply-held ideals of what a pizza should be like. I'd heard stories about their decline, but was willing to give the place the benefit of doubt.

The best thing I could say about the pie I ordered is that it was competently topped. In every other respect- let's just say that if I made that pie at home, I'd put the notation "epic fail" in my ledger and start a thread here about it titled "what not to do" or "help me figure out where this one went wrong". Moreover, I had the opportunity to sample a take-out slice from the same place at another time and it had exactly the same qualities, as though it came from the very same pizza. I can only conclude that they've deliberately adopted that result as their quality-control target, because it's cheaper that way, and so have managed to reduce sub-competent mediocrity to an exact science.

The experience did have a positive spin-off, though: it got me riled up enough to finally figure out, once and for all, how to make the pies that place (and others like it around here that went the same way, and for the same reason) used to make in my own kitchen. The result is that I've attained total pizza autonomy and no longer have to get mad or otherwise care about stuff like this 

JLP     

[chickenparm]

Maybe now would be a good time for you to make an offer on the place and show them how it's done!

Even though I can make a pretty decent NY style pie at home,I'm still no where confident it would be enough to outsell the chains around here yet.I am still not there where some of you guys are at,and I still have alot to learn.

I don't have the moola anyways to start a business,and I would have to be damn sure my stuff was gonna sell first.
 

That aside,my power as a customer,I do know my product and what to expect for my money.What these people push out as pizza is their downfall,not mine.
 

[chickenparm]

What also sucks is when a place starts off real, and then degenerates and turns fake over the years. Last fall, after more than twenty years I revisited this one place whose pizzas I grew up eating, and which helped form my most deeply-held ideals of what a pizza should be like. I'd heard stories about their decline, but was willing to give the place the benefit of doubt.

The best thing I could say about the pie I ordered is that it was competently topped. In every other respect- let's just say that if I made that pie at home, I'd put the notation "epic fail" in my ledger and start a thread here about it titled "what not to do" or "help me figure out where this one went wrong". Moreover, I had the opportunity to sample a take-out slice from the same place at another time and it had exactly the same qualities, as though it came from the very same pizza. I can only conclude that they've deliberately adopted that result as their quality-control target, because it's cheaper that way, and so have managed to reduce sub-competent mediocrity to an exact science.

The experience did have a positive spin-off, though: it got me riled up enough to finally figure out, once and for all, how to make the pies that place (and others like it around here that went the same way, and for the same reason) used to make in my own kitchen. The result is that I've attained total pizza autonomy and no longer have to get mad or otherwise care about stuff like this 

JLP     

JLP,I know exactly what and where you are coming from.

I will admit,over the years,from my experiences as well,a lot of places declined because the owners would retire,sell the places to other folks with cheaper and quicker ideas,or they keep hiring people that have no desire to bring out the best.Many times they switch suppliers due to finances or broken promises on products and shipping etc.

Every business seems to have its troubles...that said,coming here and learning to make pizzas,does teach us to look for things we never used to pay attention to in the past.

I have to say I am becoming more at ease making pizzas at home,and I'm finding everything wrong or what  places of business could be doing to make their products better,but never do,if we order from someplace.
 

[Trinity]

If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.


 This is the whole point of pizzamaking.com....

[PizzaHog]

Face the facts chickenparm
You have become a pizza snob.
Not your fault though, it comes with the territory here on pizzamakingdotcom and few can avoid it.
I am one now too...

[pizzablogger]

Less purely business motivated persons focused on questionable claims and questionable advertising, more enthusiasts passionate about their product and opening their own place is what pizza needs...or any product for that matter!

[Jose L. Piedra]

The best-case scenario would see passionate enthusiasm and astute business sense joining forces. Modern business sense/motivation and artisanal quality aren't always mutually exclusive. For example, from a business point of view, superior quality is a potential selling point in an oversaturated field dominated by boring mediocrity and thus a competitive advantage if exploited corrrectly. Meanwhile, the artisan has to understand that quality alone won't make a product just market itself; good advertising, and plenty of it, is necessary to make John Q. Public aware that something better is out there, and make him realize he wants it, even if it does cost a bit more. But I'm probably just pipe-dreaming here.

JLP

[thezaman]

 my wife and i tried a new restaurant that is getting great reviews .wood pizza and Italian entrees . the food was delicious but the supposed Neapolitan pizza was nasty!! as someone who has tasted the real thing i laugh at what they were serving.  someone never having true pizza napolitana think it is great, and that is the way true Italian wood pizza is to taste. the Chef De cuisine went to culinary school with my son and has vast knowledge and experience with the real product,but will not offer input. he has accompanied the both of us to seminars and tastings and feels it is a conflict of interests. so as someone above said there will always be room for the true guality product as long as it is marketed the right way.

[jkb]

All you have to do is check out an issue of Pizza Today to get an idea of how the pizza business works.  It's no surprise that there's so much crap out there.  For many operators, it's about the business, not the pizza.

[chickenparm]

I live in a small town where the best pizza for the masses is either Doms or papa johns.Thats not saying much.

The best pizzas I have ever had were in NY state.Im still learning to make it at home and yes Im becoming a snob.
 

Making it at home is cool,but I cannot make pizza better than my favorite places yet.

Sucks no one else that opens a new place these days even seems to try to make a good product first before marketing it.