Well, I'm glad you said 'kind of' disagree and 'novice' but an educated blind man could still pick the good ones from the bad
Actually in 40 some years of picking I've only come across a few and one of those times it was in the lilacs in my back yard, a very perverse looking thing it was too AND slimy. http://www.healthy-life.narod.ru/mus/me14.jpg
At any rate, not a lot of false morels to be found and they are usually more of a solid core where morels are hollow. Yes, they are out there, but, remain probably THE safest mushroom to hunt for novices and pros alike. BUT, "when in doubt, throw it out".
Also like I said, come fall, look for the Maitake/Hen Of The Woods, BEST mushroom in the woods!! Come apart like string cheese and have the texture of meat!!!
Biggest ones I've found were 15 and 25 pounds and will grow up to 40-50 pounds. Another pretty safe one to hunt without the need for doing spore prints and such.
PS...most all wild mushrooms should be cooked before eating and alcohol consumption should be kept to a minimum or nil. Eat a bunch and get drunk and you and everyone else will find out why.....EXTREME GI symptoms resulting in a lot of very bad farting. Hit me in the middle of a pool tourney once, I was not popular in the bar when they finally pinned it on me, I blamed the mushrooms, but it was the truth.....I still took 1st -place and 500 bucks:-X