Author Topic: Soon to be new Dad: Looking for wisdom (Read 1635 times)

JD · « **on:** January 21, 2013, 12:55:54 PM »

7 Weeks from today, my wife & I are "scheduled" to become new parents. I'm constantly looking for words of wisdom from experienced Dad's, so if you have anything you'd like to share please do!

One thing's for certain, my boy is going to LOVE homemade pizza

jeff v · « **Reply #1 on:** January 21, 2013, 12:58:17 PM »

Have patience. Buckle up. Have fun...and patience.

mkevenson · « **Reply #2 on:** January 21, 2013, 01:21:32 PM »

Congrats, sleep lots now, you will need the reserve!

Mark

JD · « **Reply #3 on:** January 21, 2013, 01:49:29 PM »

Thanks guys, I will take your advice to heart.

ccgus · « **Reply #4 on:** January 21, 2013, 01:52:21 PM »

Sleep. Get it while you can. And lots of it (my little girl just turned a year old recently, and we're still not sleeping through the night!)

jeff v · « **Reply #5 on:** January 21, 2013, 02:28:45 PM »

Quote from: ccgus on January 21, 2013, 01:52:21 PM

Sleep. Get it while you can. And lots of it (my little girl just turned a year old recently, and we're still not sleeping through the night!)

My youngest didn't sleep through til he was three.

He is the biggest pizza fan of the group though-any style, and a range of toppings.

csafranek · « **Reply #6 on:** January 21, 2013, 02:36:07 PM »

Becoming a father is hands down the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. (Twice now) but it is also the most rewarding thing in my life. Like everyone already stated, get some sleep now and have alot of patience. Your time is not your time any longer, but I am ok with that. I am sure others will agree with me that I have no idea what I ever did with all my time before kids. Enjoy it all. My oldest is almost 4 and the time is just flying by.

TXCraig1 · « **Reply #7 on:** January 21, 2013, 02:40:51 PM »

I woke up the other day and one of my boys was taller than me.

Enjoy it moment-by-moment. Don't worry about the meaningless stuff like sleep or lack thereof. If you do, if you focus on getting past the difficult parts, you'll miss the great things you can never get back. You have no idea how fast time flies until you have kids. At least I didn't.

The Dough Doctor · « **Reply #8 on:** January 21, 2013, 03:08:52 PM »

JD;
We raised two boys, both are young men now and very successful. I always made it a point to make sure I would spend as much time with them as I possibly could when they were young. Fishing, boating, hiking, nature studies (walking nature trails), and then as they grew older more fishing and outdoor things and we attended every sporting, school and church activity they were involved in. I always made it a point to emphasize that there were winners and losers, and that there was nothing wrong with being either one (that's one of life's realities that we don't teach our kids anymore), along the same lines I always said that there were leaders and followers, the leaders get to take a lot of the credit, but they are also burdened by a lot of the blame when things don't work out just right, while followers are pretty well exempt from both, again there is nothing wrong with either, they just need to make the decision as to what they want out of life. My work requires a lot of travel, but until the boys were out of college, I never allowed my travel schedule to exceed 25%. Above all else, remember, you and your wife are going to set the examples they will grow up and live by. Have fun and enjoy every moment it.
Congrats!!
Tom Lehmann/The Dough Doctor

MightyPizzaOven · « **Reply #9 on:** January 21, 2013, 03:09:53 PM »

Takes, lots of pictures and videos as he grow up. I have 3 & 4 YO girls, I already miss their infant days.

bfguilford · « **Reply #10 on:** January 21, 2013, 04:40:30 PM »

Congrats, JD.

I highly recommend the book "Operating Instructions" by Anne Lamotte http://www.amazon.com/Operating-Instructions-Journal-Sons-First/dp/1400079098/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1358804103&sr=8-1&keywords=operating+instructions+anne+lamott. Even though it's a journal written by a single mother, I found it to be a great read (you'll probably understand the befuddlement she writes about, and the raw emotions - positive and negative) as she describes her son's first year.

If you're a control freak, this experience will teach you to kiss all that goodbye

.

Most of all, be there (and when you're there... really be there).

Barry

JD · « **Reply #11 on:** January 21, 2013, 04:58:48 PM »

Thank you everybody, a lot of very insiteful suggestions. I won't be able to control time, but hopefully I will be able to make the best of it as it begins to flash before my eyes.

Mmmph · « **Reply #12 on:** January 21, 2013, 05:03:06 PM »

If you have a boy, make sure he knows to step away from the urinal before he flushes it.
If you have a girl, make sure she knows to stay out of the men's room.

Oh, and no skateboarding in the house.

Ummm, that's it.

mylocalpizzaguy · « **Reply #13 on:** January 21, 2013, 09:12:39 PM »

I have 4 daughters and all of them are incredible. With the first one I woke up every 20 Minuets to check on her but by the last one I was letting her cry herself to sleep. Time is funny and it moves by very fast if you don't pay attention, appreciate every day you have with them and you will do fine. Oh and teach your kids the martial arts by age 9 all my girls were deadly......weird world out there you know.

tinroofrusted · « **Reply #14 on:** January 21, 2013, 11:07:15 PM »

Quote from: JD on January 21, 2013, 12:55:54 PM

7 Weeks from today, my wife & I are "scheduled" to become new parents. I'm constantly looking for words of wisdom from experienced Dad's, so if you have anything you'd like to share please do!

Hi JD,

About 16 years ago, shortly after the birth of my daughter, I posed the same question to a very learned friend of mine, who advised me as follows: "Find out who she is." What a simple, unexpected piece of advice that was. I have kept that piece of advice close to me for all these years. As best I can, I do try to "find out" who my daughter is as we go along. Child rearing is a fascinating, interactive, at times frustrating process. I do believe it is the central reason and motivation for us to be alive. Being a parent will teach you a lot about yourself, and if you observe and listen carefully, you will become a better person as you raise your child. I think a lot of parents make the mistake of trying to force their children to be what they themselves wish they could have been. Instead, my friend's advice calls me to put my own agenda aside, to try to find out who my daughter really is as a person, and to guide her, as best I can, to be her best self. Which in turn calls me to be my best self.

I guess the other thing I would add is that time and attention are so key to being a good parent. It is very important to show up as much as possible for all those soccer games, talent shows, student assemblies, etc. Your presence at those events will let your child know that he or she is very important to you, and build that all important bond between you that will come in very handy when her or she is a teenager. (You need all the help you can get during those teen years!)

The fact that you posted your question makes me believe that you will be a good parent. I do envy you a bit for getting to start off on this great journey with your new child (although i don't envy those many sleepless nights ahead of you!) Good luck to you, and above all, enjoy the ride!

Best regards,

TinRoof

Jet_deck · « **Reply #15 on:** January 21, 2013, 11:36:50 PM »

Just a few "hints"

1) Make sure that Mama Bear rests while baby bear does.
2) No action made with loving attention is a "mistake"
3) These little guys can sense your emotion. Calm and cool attention is the best.
4) One of my two kids when in nightime "distress" loved sitting in their car seat on top of the dryer with a huge load of clothes drying

below.

5) When in doubt, don't worry.

Chicago Bob · « **Reply #16 on:** January 21, 2013, 11:50:18 PM »

JD,
I have a 13 yr old grand daughter and a 16 yr old grand son. Great kids. "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans"
Never split the scene man and always remember that you deserve a 'lil time of your own too.

Bob

Don K · « **Reply #17 on:** January 22, 2013, 01:12:52 AM »

Congratulations JD!

These baby carriers that clamp in the car and become a car seat, and clamp onto a stroller are the best thing ever invented for parents!

If he ever gets cranky from being overtired, Put him in the car seat and go for a ride around the block and he will be sound asleep in no time. Sounds crazy but it works every time.

pizzaneer · « **Reply #18 on:** January 22, 2013, 03:39:51 AM »

This is all great advice. Tinroof's words really spoke to me. "Find out who they are"; what a great way to put it. My son is becoming more and more complicated as he grows, and I love it.

Love them with all your heart, be fair with them and yourself, show them your passion, share your interests and help them to grow in understanding.

It also bears repeating that the early years take a lot of patience and a resilient sense of humor. For example, finger-painting a poop mural on textured wallpaper next to the toilet... "That's a no-no, DAMMIT!". Arrrghhh! Time for a walk. By the time I came back it was funny.

Don K · « **Reply #19 on:** January 22, 2013, 07:20:23 AM »

Quote from: pizzaneer on January 22, 2013, 03:39:51 AM

This is all great advice. Tinroof's words really spoke to me. "Find out who they are"; what a great way to put it. My son is becoming more and more complicated as he grows, and I love it.

I agree, Find out who they are and let them be it, and not try to make them be something that they aren't.

Quote from: pizzaneer on January 22, 2013, 03:39:51 AM

It also bears repeating that the early years take a lot of patience and a resilient sense of humor. For example, finger-painting a poop mural on textured wallpaper next to the toilet... "That's a no-no, DAMMIT!". Arrrghhh! Time for a walk. By the time I came back it was funny.

+1 to this one!

...which reminds me of something else...make sure to keep sharpies or other permanent writing instruments out of reach!...and, if you paint over sharpie it comes through the paint unless you use a good sealer.