Author Topic: Oh, the Horror.....  (Read 2086 times)

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Offline Foccaciaman

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Oh, the Horror.....
« on: July 26, 2004, 11:47:11 PM »
 :o

Sixteen inches of perfectly shaped pie resting on a pizza peel... :)

Topped with a sauce of San Marizano tomatoes, fresh basil cut from my garden some garlic and oregano (also from the garden) with a pinch of salt and pepper. The sauce was delicious. layered to within 1 1/4 inch of the edge.  :D

Some smoked provalone and mozzarella then for the dairy portion of this work of art that was going to be dinner.  ;D

Then topped with pepperoni and portabello mushrooms on my half only.
A little grated Reggiano cheese top of that and it was ready to go.

Did I mention that it had practically shaped itself as I was making the dough, as if it  new it was going to be something special, some grand pizza experience.

All had gone so well. the oven was ready.
550 degrees for at least 1/2 hour now.
My children shouted " when is dinner"
"soon, in just about 8-9 minutes" I bellowed to them down the hall.
My wife had set the plates at the table and now stood by my side for the grand finale the entry into the inferno, then bada boom bada bing,  shortly there would be pizza, crispy, chewy hot cheesy pizza.

The oven opened I shook my pizza lightly on the peel, as I have done a thousand times before, I should have known something was wrong by now, it was in the air, you could almost touch it, something evil. It was much too silent I could feel the eyes of a demon pizzialo over my shoulder willing the destruction of this masterpiece of pies. Time slowed ... My hand moved forward to shake the disc from the peel and onto the stone... And then it happened all at once the dough seemed to hook in two places at once on the peel and not come off, toppings were sent flying into the oven like a meteor shower on a hot summer night , the bottom of the dough ripped open and the back side of the pie flipped up and over the front, as I tried to pull it out, but it was to late for that too some of the crust had wound its way around the edge of the oven rack and was not letting go, so as I pulled the now 16 inch Frankenstein like calzone thing stuck on my peel was pullin away from me and tearing open spilling toppings all over the oven door and into the oven.The sound of sizzeling toppings and sauce as they were went to their deaths on the scorching surface of the oven.  Afterwords I was told that all the carnage had lasted for a fraction of a second. I swear somewhere in the sound of toppings frying on the floor of my oven I could hear the high pitched laughter of the demon pizzialo.
I set down the peel picked up the remanents of my creation and cradled it in my arms as if to comfort it in some way this unrealized dream of a pizza .
I then turned 90 degrees left and did a head fake around my wife and slam dunked the big pile of crap right into the garbage.
Right then my wife thought that she might tell me how I might have avoided that little mishap.  >:(Before she got 2 words from her beautiful lips I politely told her that now might not be just the right time to expalin it to me.  >:(
 :)There are some frozen pizzas in the chest freezer in the basement , I explained and that I would be leaving the house for the deck, where I could enjoy a cigar before my head explodes. She just smiled and waved .  :)

Later this evening I am preforming an exorcism on my kitchen to remove the Demon Pizzialo

Tommorow I get right back in the saddle and make a pizza. ;D ;D
Demon or not nothing will stop me, on the quest for the best pizza.
Ahhh, Pizza The Fifth Food Group


Offline Steve

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Re:Oh, the Horror.....
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2004, 08:11:53 AM »
Oh no!!  I've had that happen to me a few times  :-[

I feel your pain!  :'(
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Offline Arthur

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Re:Oh, the Horror.....
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2004, 09:29:11 AM »
same here....I was afraid it only happened to me!  ::)

At a certain point I switched from cornmeal to semolina since I found that it tasted better....plus I use a TON of it to prevent nights like this.

Offline Pizzaholic

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Re:Oh, the Horror.....
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2004, 10:19:39 AM »
Fman
I can often have that sixth sense too.

First thing I have to ask: Try a Carbonelle, Dominican, Sweet, mild. Good burn.

Second, Screens, (might I add, spray prior to applying the dough) Thank you Randy et al.
Screens have helped me with my pies and best of all

NO more demons
Pizzaholic

Offline Randy

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Re:Oh, the Horror.....
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2004, 10:36:26 AM »
Hadn't happned to me yet but I am knocking on every bit of wood I can find.
Sorry Focci, ya got the pizza blues.!
Randy

Offline Foccaciaman

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Re:Oh, the Horror.....
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2004, 01:57:49 PM »
My greatest error was that I wanted to use my stone for this monster New York Style instead of my 16 inch screen which would have prevented it.

So while trying to be Mr. Pizzialo with the peel I looked more like Chuckles the Pizza man at Clown Pizza Palace.

Ah well you learn more from your mistakes than anything. ;D
Ahhh, Pizza The Fifth Food Group

Offline Foccaciaman

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Re:Oh, the Horror.....
« Reply #6 on: July 28, 2004, 12:56:53 AM »
No demons tonight .

Made three pizzas that turned out great, even let my 6 year old give the dough a toss in the air . He was getting bored with stretching by hand. At least he caught it on re-entry.  ;D ;D
And it all went off without a hitch. :)
Ahhh, Pizza The Fifth Food Group

Offline DKM

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Re:Oh, the Horror.....
« Reply #7 on: July 29, 2004, 11:46:40 AM »
Made me cry just reading about it.

Done it a couple of time myself.

Sad memories.

DKM

I'm on too many of these boards

Offline Randy

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Re:Oh, the Horror.....
« Reply #8 on: July 29, 2004, 11:52:59 AM »
When I made my NY-American pizza last night I thought about Focci and was very careful  It was so good I wished I hadn't eaten anything all day.

Randy

Offline Foccaciaman

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Re:Oh, the Horror.....
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2004, 12:05:31 AM »
You wont believe this but it almost happened again. :o

I think I was psyching myself up a little to much, the pizza was smaller and I had used a ton of cornmeal so she would slide off as if it was floating on glass. There was my problem this time .. I gave it a quick shake to make sure the pie is loose and va va vooooom it takes off and shoots right for the stone but I was not ready yet so I quickly caught the overlapping piece of pizza and flipped it back on the peel. replaced the lost cheese , and with one fluid motion I spun , released and tugged the peel and the pie slid to a rest dead center of the stone.
Mission Accomplished. ;D
Ahhh, Pizza The Fifth Food Group


Offline Pizzaholic

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Re:Oh, the Horror.....
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2004, 08:31:53 AM »
Fman
You ever thilnk of writing a book??? ;D ;D ;D
You are helarious
Pizzaholic
I am almost in tears ;D ;D ;D ;D

Offline Foccaciaman

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Re:Oh, the Horror.....
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2004, 09:35:31 AM »
Thank you for the compliment, I aim to please.
Actually I am an aspiring, unpublished , to afraid to send in for fear of rejection writer. ;D
Ahhh, Pizza The Fifth Food Group

Offline Pierre

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Re:Oh, the Horror.....
« Reply #12 on: August 02, 2004, 04:08:53 PM »
I feel for you also focaccia, I overshot the backside of my pizzastone more than once just to see half the pizza hanging off the stone and in the oven... sizzling and smoking! (geeeze, nooooohhhhhhHHH!!!) :'(


It hasn't happened in a while though... :)

Pierre

read your post in Austria and was laughing tears!!


 

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